For Bill alcohol is associated with excitement, drive and ambition. We might sometimes call these qualities examples of 'self-will'. His first exposure to drinking came, despite the 'warnings and prejudices of my people', during the fever of the World War. Settling on 'inviting maelstrom of Wall Street' as his chosen occupation after the War, his drinking became heavier, and he senses a pattern: "Out of this alloy of drink and speculation, I commenced to forge the weapon that one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang and all but cut me to ribbons." (See Pass It On for the story of Bill and his childhood obsession over making a boomerang, an early example of his drive to succeed) Bill then writes that,"The great boom of the late twenties was seething and swelling. Drink was taking an important and exhilarating part in my life... My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night." The stock market crash of 1929 interrupts Bill's Wall Street success story, but "As I drank, the old fierce determination to win came back." A brief, successful period ensues, "But drinking caught up with me again and my generous friend had to let me go. This time we stayed broke." This appears to be the first material loss Bill lost suffered due to drinking, and his period of virtual helplessness begins here.

On the other hand, quieter and peaceful times were beneficial for Bill. He describes being 'much moved' while visiting Winchester Cathedral upon first arriving in England during the War. There is no mention of alcohol during the relative solitude of the motorcycle trip with Lois in the early 1920's. By late 1934 Bill has lost his former ambition and drive. "The courage to do battle was not there." "I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master." At this point, Ebby comes to visit Bill at home and the two of them talk alone. Bill is receptive to Ebby's testimony and personal example, even though he was drinking at the time. Finally, while alone in his hospital, Bill has an sudden, overwhelming spiritual experience, the first of two firsthand accounts in the Big Book (The other is at the end of the next chapter). "His [God's] presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself."

Between the increased drinking during clamorous times and insights gained when calmer, Bill suffered alcoholic excesses and various failures in curbing his drinking. As Bill's is the only detailed story in the 164 pages and several points here are mentioned elsewhere in the book, they are worth noting:

* He managed to put together a potentially lucrative deal, but went on a bender and ruined it. This phenomenon described by Dr. Silkworth (Page xxix, Fourth Edition) and on Page 21.

* At one point, "A doctor came with a heavy sedative. Next day found me drinking both gin and sedative. This combination soon landed me on the rocks." The wording implies that Bill abused these drugs for some period of time. Sedatives played a major part in Dr. Bob's Nightmare (page 177). Use of sedatives and morphine are mentioned as being typical for alcoholics on Page 22.

* After a period of sobriety Bill became overconfident and relapsed. The false idea that an alcoholic can drink safely after abstaining for a time is common, and is mentioned by the Doctor (Page xxx, Fourth Edition) and on Pages 32-33.

* After his first round of treatment with Dr Silkworth, he learned about the disease of alcoholism. Yet he relapsed once more. Self-knowledge and self-confidence, even knowledge of the disease of alcoholism, cannot seem to prevent a relapse. See Rowland H.'s story (Page 26) and Fred the businessman (Page 40). The authors also categorically state in that chapter that, "the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly any exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge." (Page 39)

* Fear of consequences was also insufficient to help Bill stop drinking. In the longest italicized passage in the literature (Page 24), the authors make the firm point that past suffering from alcohol will not always prevent one from taking the first drink. (Also see Page 22).

* "There were flights from city to country and back as my wife and I sought escape." This so-called "geographic cure" is also mentioned on Page 31 in a long list of measures attempted by failed alcoholics.

* Medical treatment was of no avail in helping Bill's alcoholism. This the second of the 'three pertinent ideas' in How It Works (Page 60) - "(b) That no human power could have relieved our alcoholism." This was also the case with the businessman who drank again after being dry for 25 years and died ("every means which money could buy was at his disposal") - see Pages 32-33. Rowland H, despite being treated by Dr. Jung, still drank until later having a vital a vital spiritual experience - See Pages 26-28. Doctor Silkworth himself mentions the limits of medical treatment in this area (Pages xxvii and xxix, Fourth Edition).

Having already admitted defeat in regard to alcohol, Bill receives the first visit from his old friend and drinking buddy. Bill is deeply impressed by Ebby's sobriety and deportment, but is 'aghast' to hear that he has gotten religion. He recalls his prejudice toward organized religion, but is hit hard by the novel suggestion,'Why don't you choose your own conception of God?' (Page 12) This has helped shape the program of Alcoholics Anonymous to this day (See We Agnostics Page 47. In addition, see the personal story The vicious Cycle, Page 229, Fourth Edition, for the history of the phrase "God as we understood him"). Bill sees at this point that nothing more is required of him but to have the willingness to believe in a power greater than himself. Thus, without realizing it, he has completed Steps One and Two.

While in the hosital, Ebby visits Bill again and essentially takes him through Steps Three through Twelve as we now know them. Some, such as approaching those he has wronged and working with other alcoholics, he obviously could not practice while hospitalized, but he expressed the willingness to do so. Later, when alone in his room, Bill has the overwhelming experience already mentioned.

Bill concludes by expressing his current 'joy of living', a phrase he would later use as the theme of Step Twelve in the Twelve and Twelve. He also mentions the fellowship that had sprung up among people who have gotten sober and regained their former standing. The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is described in much more detail in the next chapter and in A Vision For You.