"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."
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Step Eleven "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." |
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The reader is asked to have an open mind and consider others' experience in meditation and prayer, much as others' experience is said in We Agnostics to make it "more sane and logical to believe than not to believe" (Page 53). "Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine... [W]hen we turn away from meditation and prayer, we likewise deprive our minds, our emotions, and our intuitions of vitally needed support. As the body can fail its purpose for lack of nourishment, so can the soul." (Page 97) 'Soul' is theological term not found in the Big Book, and its use here may suggest that we are about to cover deeper, more abstract territory than the Big Book's more pragmatic treatment of this Step.
There is a direct linkage among self-examination, med- itation, and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life. Now and then we may be granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God’s kingdom. And we will be comforted and assured that our own destiny in that realm will be secure for so long as we try, however falteringly, to find and do the will of our own Creator. (Page 98)
This passage adds self-examination as practiced in Step Ten to prayer and meditation as tools to be used in Step Eleven, thereby linking it to Step Ten. We have previously seen in the Big Book that Step Ten was linked to this Step by the inclusion of a statement that we maintain our spiritual condition (and therefore our sobriety) by carrying a vision of God's will into our activities every day. Self-searching, which brings new "vision, action and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. It is a step in the development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive God’s help." (Page 98) The highlighted phrase is another metaphysical term not used nor paraphrased in the Big Book, again signaling that we are covering new ground in this chapter, as is the idea of a destiny in this sense.
Prayer and meditation have been used for centuries by many people. As in the Big Book, we see the suggestion that reading and making use of our own or others' religious practices is useful. For the beginner who may not know how to start, the author cites the following prayer written several hundred years ago by a man now considered a saint:
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace—that where there is hatred, I may bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that where there is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt, I may bring faith— that where there is despair, I may bring hope—that where there are shadows, I may bring light— that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted— to under- stand, than to be understood—to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.” (Page 99)Thus the St Francis Prayer is introduced into the A.A Canon. The author suggests beginners in meditation reread the prayer slowly, taking in the meaning of each word and phrase. It will be helpful, which is to say, be open-minded, for "in meditation debate has no place." (Page 100) Relaxing our minds, we ought to become willing to "partake and be strengthened and lifted up by the sheer spiritual power, beauty, and love of which these magnificent words are the carriers." (Page 100) Constructive imagination can be useful to us, and contemplation of this prayer helps us envision our spiritual objective. We learn a bit about the man's aspirations in this way:
First of all, he wanted to become a 'channel.' Then he asked for the grace to bring love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, and joy to every human being he could... Next came the expression of an aspiration and a hope for himself. He hoped, God willing, that he might be able to find some of these treasures, too. This he would try to do by what he called self-forgetting. What did he mean by “self- forgetting,” and how did he propose to accomplish that? He thought it better to give comfort than to receive it; better to understand than to be understood; better to forgive than to be forgiven. (Page 101)These considerations could be the beginning of our meditation, "perhaps our very first attempt at a mood, a flier into the realm of spirit, if you like." (Page 101) With this beginning, we can look at where we are and where we want to go spiritually. "Meditation is something which can always be further developed. It has no boundaries, either of width or height. Aided by such instruction and example as we can find, it is essentially an individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his own way." (Page 101) This passage holds out the possibility of endless progress. Again, the treatment of this Step appears much more ambitious and greater in scope than in the Big Book. Under these circumstances, it is notable to see the assertion that meditation is an individual adventure, that we proceed on our own with advice and example we select ourselves. There is no mention of having a sponsor or a particular spiritual advisor in this Step.
The object of meditation is to improve our conscious contact with God, and with his grace, wisdom and love. But it is very practical, for one of its first fruits is emotional balance (a major topic from Step Ten), and a sense of belonging is also mentioned at the end of this chapter.
Prayer is considered next, as we think each morning about our day to come. This is called meditation in the Big Book, and though that discussion of Step Eleven is considerably shorter than this chapter, the Big Book has a great deal more detail than is found here in the Twelve and Twelve. We are mainly told to avoid asking for specific solutions to problems we or others may face in the course of the day, and not to make demands upon God. This is not explicitly stated in the Big Book, but is implied by the Step itself: "...praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."
The Twelve and Twelve recommends a variation on the advice found in the Big Book to be followed throughout the day: "As the day goes on, we can pause where situations must be met and decisions made, and renew the simple request: 'Thy will, not mine, be done.' If at these points our emotional disturbance happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance, provided we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our reading or meditation... At these critical moments, if we remind ourselves that 'it is better to comfort than to be comforted, to understand than to be understood, to love than to be loved,' we will be following the intent of Step Eleven." (Page 102-103)
The author warns of a danger in asking God for explicit guidance on our problems. The answers that come may turn out to be wel-intentioned rationalizations. "The A.A., or indeed any man, who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting individual... With the best of intentions, he tends to force his own will into all sorts of situations and problems with the comfortable assurance that he is acting under God’s specific direction. Under such an illusion, he can of course create great havoc without in the least intending it." (Page 103-104) This is similar to the Big Book's statement that being inexperienced in prayer and meditation, "it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas." (Page 87) Asking for specific solutions for the sake of others is also problematic. This shows a bit of presumption and conceit, the author asserts. "It is A.A.’s experience that particularly in these cases we ought to pray that God’s will, whatever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves." (Page 104)
A.A. experience has also shown that wisdom, strength and peace of mind in difficult circumstances come to those who engage in prayer and meditation. Trying to improve conscious contact with God also turn our affairs around for the better and give us lessons for living and courage. This testimony based on experience should encourage those reluctant to turn to prayer, or those who feel them selves cut off from God's help. Occasionally "[w]e are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray. When these things happen we should not think too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us." (Page 105) One is reminded of the passage in Step Three in the Twelve and Twelve in which self-will slams shut the door, but the door can always be opened with the key of willingness. (Page 35)
The author concludes with this inspiring passage:
Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. The moment we catch even a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evi- dence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter. (Page 105)