Where were you in `82? (Or maybe `92?)-probably trying to learn to drive, earn the license, and begging for the family station wagon so you could cruise around with your best buds. Then you chased that girl and tried to fit into one of the eternal social groups in every American high school: jocks, cheerleaders, stoners, geeks, sluts, rich kids, etc. Such is normal teenage social life, but true heroes transcend these narrow categories.

"In high school you get branded as a moron for life...trying things out is what happens at college. You get a great chance to start out all over again. Just like a federal witness and relocation program for teenagers." -Corey Parker, from How I Got Into College.

Quite often the motivation and stakes involved are both greater and more grand in college than before. Our boy is often searching for knowledge and/or true love, not his first time. He`s not trying to get over on the professor simply for kicks, but for moral and cultural reasons, or perhaps to change the entire campus regime for eager young students so they may truly learn.

Or he may simply want to party-one just can`t tell with young people these days: Spring Break, Summer Vacation, etc.-these are annual college rituals and, it is quite certain, actual film titles as well.

I was trained in college to handle a job like this so in a sense I already have experience. / What you`ve got is college experience, not the hard-nosed business experience we`re looking for. / Then why did I go to college? / Had fun, didn`t you? -Michael J. Fox, in a job interview from The Secret of My Success

The final, sometimes painful phase of growing up involves the early working years after college. We`ve got the entry-level professional in mind here, one with that something extra which hasn`t come out yet. The motivation now is to survive workplace politics until his career is established, and to separate this from his other goals, be they artistic, romantic or of some other nature. In the end our young man will not merely have defeated his foe on a businessman`s battlefield, but also will have discovered what or who he`s always wanted, and after fulfilling his goal, will fade forevermore from our radar screens as he smoothly sails off to that distant and uncharted land of adulthood.

That`s what scares me, the unknown... /I find it very overrated, all this growing up, taking responsibility, becoming an adult. /I hate to break it to you, but we are adults. We`re going to have to grow up sometime. -Kelly and Brandon, star-crossed lovers

This is what it`s all about: the complex social transformation from adolescence to full adulthood, from the first vision of the Car, with its promise of independence, until the last plausible authority figure is gone and the career is on a reasonable track, assuring a fully independent, adult existence. A reasonable guess concerning our target demographic would be from the ages of 15-25 years old in middle class American terms. Before this you`re a little fanboy with Playstations and Japanimations, and afterward you`re stuck in a rut b*tching about the size of your cubicle, comparing IRA plans and chuckling over Dilbert everyday.

These are not the things of which dreams are made!

We`re all about the golden years here, the best years of our lives. This kind of extended, pampered adolescence was an American invention, and another indigenous institution, Hollywood, fully glamourized and exploited it.

Though we all like to think that we`re unique, free-thinking individuals, many of us face the same choices in life, share similar desires and often react to common stereotypes:

At any rate, not all early 1980`s movies were like this, and overall quality certainly improved by the middle of the decade, as young people`s movies, music and fashion began to attract major talent and attention. More creative directors and musicians came into prominence then. Suddenly teen and twenties movies, music and culture were clean, mainstream and highly esteemed. It wasn`t greasy kid stuff anymore.

The 1980`s saw a tremendous flowering of fashionable young people`s culture and style. Polyester and Disco began to fade and a pleasant Pop sensibility came to rule as teens and twenty-somethings began to dress well and listen to more sophisticated types of music- everything from the Jam and the Style Council to Siouxsie and the Banshees to the Cure, Lloyd Cole, Fishbone, Guadalcanal Diary, the Bodeans, Big Audio Dynamite, the whole Post-Punk and 4AD scenes-and let no one forget the Mozz, aka Miserable Morrissey and the Smiths. (Although there were pockets of anger and violence in the punk, Oi!, skinhead and harDCore scenes, just waiting to boil over when the time was right.)

Viva la Brit Pop!

There was even a celebrated family of actors known largely for our kind of optimistic, upbeat teen and twenties film: the Brat Pack, named after Frank Sinatra`s early 60`s band of Hollywood bon vivants, the Rat Pack. The 1980`s spirit of confidence was in full effect, and young people`s movies, music and attitudes reflected it:

Ladies and Gentlemen-the Brat Pack:

(If you don`t know them by now, you will never know them at all...)

That wonderful attitude and positive outlook has largely slipped away from us in the past several years. Where did it go, and why don`t they seem to make happy, optimistic teen and twenties movies anymore?

For one thing, St John (Hughes), the great teen movie auteur, moved on to other films, and much of the Family became too old and jaded to act in these adventures anymore. It was time to move on for the best in FFTTM`s, and they were replaced by second-rate talent:

The turn of the new decade saw a complete turnaround in our favourite film genre. Something happened around this time to produce more morose and cynical movies, and personel changes in Hollywood don`t explain everything. A new mood began to prevail in Hollywood and the films it produced, true enough: but it`s never really been clear whether they influence society itself or merely detect and exploit emergent trends.

Some of our favourite stars still made movies with each other, but they were either perverse, exploitive or utterly ridiculous (Bad Influence, Weekend at Bernie`s, True Colors, Money For Nothing, At First Sight and all the `90`s Coreysploitation films). All this served to underscore what we`d already lost.

What were optimists left with by the early-to-mid 1990`s? Doubt, depression and general gloom. Pop was in retreat and the Smiths had broken up. How the mighty have fallen!

Pop sentiment is essential in our modern society, for its cheerful facade allows us to live peacefully with each other and promotes a positive attitude in life. It has no pretence concerning Truth or Art: it is concerned solely with depeche mode (instant fashion). Pop stands for optimism in the face of adversity, an upbeat attitude despite minor diffculties and above all an abhorence of selfish morbity and endless self-examination.

[Moral hypochondriacs and existential narcissists are boring, for goodness` sake: no one sympathizes with their self-created mental dilemmas. To have problems and fears is human; to keep them to oneself is Divine.]

Optimistic young people`s Pop culture is not dead, but it has been dormant for quite a while. Grunge music and its philosophy soon replaced it: punk without passion, metal without energy, pathos without the...whatever. Geeks and losers donned oversized thrift store flannel clothing, neglected to cut their hair and became rock stars. But their disavowal of talent and ambition tell us who they really are: depressed slackers. Didn`t we get rid of bad hair and clothing back in the early 80`s? These guys are so, like, 18 years ago!

"There`s nothing to do anymore, all the great themes have been used up... so I don`t find it really cheerful to be living in the middle of a totally, like, spent decade where there`s nothing to look forward to and no one to look up to." -Christian Slater, from Pump Up the Volume

Teen and twenties movies suffered as much as 1980`s optimistic music and culture. Cynicism ruled as some young people circled their wagons and became more defensive-and more offensive to watch (and not just in the movies). Parents, teachers and bosses are no longer widely viewed as worthy opponents in a game of wits, nor as having the slightest moral authority. It is now hip to be unhappy: Malaise is back again! The anti-pop, anti-fashion mood of this Gen-X, slacker-influenced decade has bred in some young people a distrust of good clean fun and a suspicion of innocent hijinx, driving these healthy instincts underground. Youthful, fun-filled nonsense is passe` to sophisticated twenty-somethings nowadays. Hipster Irony abounds, accompanied by an attitude of detached bitterness.

It is natural to seek pleasure, fulfill goals and to feel good afterward. Recent social trends leave many youngsters confused, however: Kids always want their fun, but many current would-be role models display this sort of affected, artificial alienation. Meanwhile, Hollywood has been reluctant to produce optimistic teen flicks since our trend peaked and began to fade: Fun-Filled Teen and Twenties Movies don`t have Explosions in Space, Gangstas being a Menace in tha` Hood, or a Bunch of Womyn Talking around a Kitchen Table. That`s largely what we see these days: bad formula films.

Our formula for fun is much better...

Nobody needs this malaise...

Young people are crying out for guidance and hope...

"He`s very popular...the sports, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, d*ckheads-they all think he`s a Righteous Dude." -Edie McClurg, singing His praises

He alone commands the respect and admiration of hardened slackers and Generation X`ers who need Him most. He can cure the doubt of the downtrodden while motivating those of us who have always believed, but lacked direction. His earnestness dispels all irony and His relentless pursuit of good, clean fun recalls the child within each of us.

Whosoever believeth in Him shall have everlasting happiness and optimism.

His name is ... FERRIS

Family Ties (NBC Early to Late 1980`s)

Starred Michael J. Fox, Justine Bateman, Michael Gross and Meredith Baxter-Birney. Initially featuring the middle-aged former hippie parents, this show soon came to focus on the two charismatic older children, both future FFTTM stars. The family was never forgotten, but more and more stories came to center on our young heroes` hijinx and travails.

Growing Pains (ABC Mid 1980`s to Early 90`s)

Starred Kirk Cameron, Tracy Gold, Alan Thicke and Joanna Kearns. Another program in which attention shifted from middle-aged parents to their teen children. Kirk, as Mike Seaver, conducted many capers under his parents` roof and underneath their very noses, often with friend Boner`s help, though he`d sometimes get caught. Hinjinx ensued for quite a while, but even he had to grow up sometime. He would later become a teacher in his old school and take in a homeless and helpless protege, none other than a very young and angry Leonardo DiCaprio!

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (NBC Late 1980`s to early 90`s)

Starred Will Smith and rap partner Jazzy Jeff.

Will is a poor Philadelphia native who is forced to move to a safer L.A. environment with his richer cousins. Class differences produce both hijinx and conflict, but everyone has fun in the end.

Trivia: Mr Smith would later earn critical acclaim for his dramatic acting debut with Donald Sutherland and Stockard Channing in the film Six Degrees of Separation, based on a true story and the game which would later become partially dedicated to Kevin Bacon.

Parker Lewis Can`t Lose (Fox 1990-93)

Produced by Robert Lloyd Lewis, starred Corin Nemec, Billy Jayne, Troy Slaten and Maia Brewton. Also Abraham Benrubi (ER) as King Kube. Without a doubt the most sincere homage to Ferris that was ever produced. Parker (Corin) outwits the fascist principal, her "special obedience helper" and a bratty little sister with the timely aid of his best buds, rocker Mikey (Billy) and nerdy intellectual Jerry (Troy).

It is impossible to do justice to the many daring adventures the best buds experienced-they must be seen to be believed. Wonderful camera work made the show look cartoonish when desired, or dramatic when necessary. Also, many hip movie, TV and pop culture references, especially to Ferris Bueller, the TV show which debuted and failed the same year Parker debuted and prospered for three seasons as His Successor.

Parker had a philosophy toward life with which He would sympathize: "not a problem." Our heroes seldom have "problems"!

These were guys you`d like to have at your back in social combat, and they were often there at the front. Last seen in syndication on USA around 1997-8.

Sweet Valley High (Syndicated Early to late 90`s)

Stars twins Cynthia and Brittney Daniels.

Identical twin sisters with very different personalities drive this insanely innocent, almost farcicle folly of a TV show. Capers are pursued and a few romances bloom from time to time.

Trivia: Back when YMP was about 5 he got a dog and named her Winky, because she winked at him while searching the litter for the cutest puppy. His best friend back in the day soon got a sister puppy from the same litter and named her Blinky for a similar reason. YMP thinks he lied, but we often took our dogs together on co-family trips.

The human sisters in this show co-starred in the now-controversial Basketball Diaries with Leonardo DiCaprio, and played twins Winky and Blinky-no lie! Samantha, a co-worker of YMP`s, had a bit part in this film-she`s a cute cheerleader in an early scene. Six Degrees considerations abound...

Weird Science (USA 1993-96)

Starred Michael Manasseri (License to Drive, schoolmate of YMP`s friend Mike from Bowie, MD), and Vanessa Angel, Produced by Robert Lloyd Lewis.

The TV version of the movie became a sort of modern teen version of Bewitched or something like that, where the magic powers involved drive the story, not the characters, or, God forbid, the writers. Usually the guys misuse Vanessa`s powers then spend the episode rectifying the problems they cause, pursuing antics and farce, and learn lessons in the end.

Trivia: the producer of the best FFTT TV show ever, Parker Lewis, once again pays homage to the greatest FFTTM Writer/Director/Producer, John Hughes-this time by recreating one of the latter`s movie creations for the small screen.

My So-Called Life (ABC 1993-94)

Starred Clair Danes and Jared Leto.

A soap opera, but this one stood out, partly because red-headed Clair was so reminiscent of St. Molly in her prime, what with the teen angst and all. Notable for the prominent TV-Teen Speak, like, you know, whatever, which the contemporaneous Party of Five would continue. It`s sometimes rerun on Fox/Family, so try to check out the incredibly maudlin Christmas episode with guest star singer Juliana Hatfield.

Partners (Fox 1995-96)

Starred Jon Cryer and Tate Donovan, former FFTTM stars.

Twenty-somethings single Jon and his married architectural buddy Tate have a few flings as only building dudes can, but they really sit around the office most of the time and talk about nothing. A pretty good show overall, but with due respect, just because Jerry Seinfeld could pull it off and Squintin` Tarrantino thinks he has, it doesn`t mean that everyone should try it. Helped establish a bad trend of hipster irony mascarading as real humor. Everyone loves Jon, however. (IMDB helped-see trivia)

Trivia: Jon now self-produces a series of straight-to-video movies that have created something of a buzz in this small market. The one which YMP was able to find was, lamentably, yet another movie about nothing (The Pompatous of Love), but don`t blame Jon- It`s the Culture, Stupid! Also, he had more recent Fox series in which he was an accountant or assistant to an African-American celebrity and his girlfriend-never saw it, can`t remember the title. Also Tate was a past FFTM star in Love Potion #9 and Dangerous Curves, as well as Space Camp (with Lea Thompson).

The Single Guy (NBC 1993-96)

Starred Jonathan Silverman, Greg German (now with Ally McBeal), Ming Na Wen (now on a big show which YMP can`t remember), and MTV`s Dan Cortese as a later addition.

Another show about nothing, but there are humourous moments, of course. Single star Jonathan mingles with married co-stars Greg and Ming Na, the Ball and Chain, with some hijinx resulting. Slacker Dan was added later, but the MTV veteran brought little with him to improve the show.

Clueless (ABC/UPN 1995-99)

Produced by Amy Heckerling, who wrote the movie script, and Julie Brown, a character on the show.

TV spinoff of the wonderful movie, a highlight of the FFTTM Dark Ages, provides similar hijinx, capers and lessons learned for our oh-so precious princess/heroine.

USA High (USA 1996-99)

A rare non-NBC joint for producer Peter Engle.

We have an American high school in Paris, with a proper British Dean, his daughter as a student, and a few American students thrown into the mix of this ensemble cast. Sounds like a recipe for hijinx! Saved by Bell in Paris, but more fun and less preachy and serious than The New Class.

Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place [now called simply Two Guys and a Girl] (ABC 1998-present)

This younger version of Friends finds our early twenty-somethings looking for love, fun and careers, resulting in a little hijinx. Much funnier than the show which premiered at the same time...

Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane [now simply Zoe] (WB 1998-present)

Just a show about teen and twenty-nothings in New York City. It`s beginning to look as if FFTT TV is getting as cynical and full of smart *sses as movies have already become. When does Christian Slater get his own series? Almost as bad as Dawson`s Creek, and that`s saying something.

Boy Meets World (ABC 1993-present)

Stars Ben Savage (brother of Fred), Ryder Strong, Will Friedle and Danielle Fishell.

This long-lasting sitcom/drama has traced the lives of Corey (Ben), brother Eric (Will) and best friend Ryder from junior high through the middle of college so far. Also, Danielle has progressed from an annoying female classmate to Corey and Ryder to the former`s tentative girlfriend, to his present-day wife!

All stages of adolescence and young adulthood have been addressed, in a cautious, family-friendly way. Often humourous, this show can also be quite dramatic. Easy to catch in reruns.

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (ABC 1996-present)

Stars Melissa Joan Hart (formerly of NICK`s Clarissa Tells All).

The former comic book character and friend of Archie and Jughead comes to life in this recent TV series in which a young witch turns sweet 16, only to find out her heritage and begin her new mission to learn the proper use of her powers. Sort of a female Weird Science, with hijinx and a few lessons learned.

Easily seen in reruns on Fox/Family

T-NBC Saturday Mornings:

(Peter Engle`s Playhouse)

Saved by the Bell (1988-93), with a prime time sequel The College Years for one season

One of the first TV shows to fully focus on teens without a great deal of adult presence, and a true classic of the genre. Mark-Paul Gosselar played Zack Morris, a devoted follower of Ferris, Dustin Diamond was his Gilligan-type partner, Screech, and the cast was rounded out by girlfriend Tiffany-Amber Thiessen (90210), Jock Mario Lopez (USA`s Pacific Blue), activist Elizabeth Berkeley (Baywatch, Showgirls) and princess Lark Voorhies.

The Second Best TV Tribute to Ferris ever!

It`s in syndication everywhere, so just watch it for yourself-YMP could never do it justice by simply writing about this wonderful TV show!

Trivia: Tori Spelling was once a semi-regular character, as Screech`s number one nerdette love slave. Also, Lea Remini from King of Queens was once a regular character as a love interest of Zack`s.

Saved by the Bell: The New Class (1993-present)

The same idea as the original, with the same principal, Mr. Belding, and even Screech as his aide after the sequel to the original failed. It started out as an amusing effort, but a new policy of gradually changing the cast was instituted, and the story lines became more repetitive. Also, like many shows lately, it has become a little preachy.

Highly syndicated, this show can usually be found, like the original, opposite dual windbags Oprah and Rosie in the afternoons.

California Dreams (1992-96)

Starred Kelly Packard (Baywatch), William James Jones, Brent Gore and Jay Anthony Franke.

Schoolmates and band partners in the eponymous group, our fearless friends and their mates strive for musical success and acheive fun in the sun in their beachside town in the innocent Southland.

Hang Time (1996-present)

Now stars Danielle Deuschler, Amber Barretto and Dick Butkis as the coach.

An Indiana high school basketball team wins State Championships and our hearts as they pursue victory and fun both on and off the court.

City Guys (1997-present)

An improbable friendship between a rich white would-be hipster and a middle class, street-wise African American in a New York City public school is the basis for this show in which they get into trouble with their various school friends, usually to be bailed out or lectured by the stern but loving Black Lady Principal.

Co-star Caitlin Ward is from Bowie, MD, just like Michael Manasseri and YMP`s friend Mike. YMP grew up in next-door Glenn Dale, home of the mythical Goatman. Rumour has it that he teamed up with a nearby witch and killed a few nosy college students one time...

One World (1997-present)

A married white couple in Miami adopts several homeless kids, all from different ethnic groups. However family tensions come entirely from the different, but normal personalities of the princess, punker, pretty boy, schemer, etc. Hijinx?-you bet!

Several new teen and twenties TV series are scheduled for the TV Season of 1999-2000. How many will be mere soap operas or full of ironic hipsters, and how many will celebrate innocent hijinx and capers? Only time will tell...and YMP promises to report on this new trend in due time.

Notable Obscurities:

Fast Times at Rigdemont High (1986)

This series based on the Top Ten movie starred Courtney Thorne-Smith, Dean Cameron (Ski school, Summer School), Ray Walston from the movie, Patrick Dempsey (!), and Moon Unit Zappa. (courtesy of IMDB-see trivia)

Kids, Inc. (Late 80`s to Early 90`s-Syndicated)

Starred young singing sensations Jennifer Love Hewitt and her eventual Party of Five lover Scott Wolf. Sort of a teen sit-com with lotsa singing set in a diner. (Courtesy of Dartmann)

Roomies (NBC, Saturday Mornings, 1990)

Starred Corey Haim and Burt Young (Rocky, Back to school).

This very short-lived series featured Corey #1 as a young college freshman prodigy and Burt as a middle-aged retiree who become roommates and form a symbiotic friendship as each deals with different school and life issues. (YMP actually saw this one-it was surreal, to say the least)

Ferris Bueller: the Series (NBC 1990-91)

Swan`s Crossing (1992-94, Mid-Afternoons weekdays, Syndicated)

An innocent high school soap opera noted for a young Sarah Michelle Gellar as a mysterious psuedo-goth chick, though she didn`t wear black trenchcoats or anything like that-but what would Angel think?

Birds of Paradise (1993-4?)

Starred Seth Green and Jennifer Love Hewitt (!)

Set in Hawaii, a recently-established step family adjusts to new relationships and a new environment. (Courtesy of Dartmann)

Party Girl (Fox 1995 short-lived replacement series)

Starred Christina Martin (movie Marsha) and Swoosie Kurtz.

Obviously based on Clueless, Christina wants simply to have her valley girl fun, but her new guardian, an aunt and a librarian, seeks to keep her properly filed and categorized. YMP liked this one a lot.

Rerun (never-aired Fox series for the 1996-97 season)

Was to have starred Scott Baio and Christina Martin.

Our married couple, in their late twenties, would encounter problems in life, and one or the other would flashback to when they were mere high school lovers, relive a similar dilemma from those simpler times, then come back to the present to solve the crisis. It could have been wonderful!

Trivia: Episodes were filmed, so someone has footage. It`s probably out there in the "collector`s" market.

Stars Will Friedle (Boy Meets World) and then-girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt (Party of Five), with a cameo by Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall.

Will somehow manages a "study date" with the most popular girl in school, who`s on the rebound. When things get hot and heavy, he finds that he doesn`t have the eponymous product, and must go out in search of one. Various whacky adventures ensue, and he finally meets up with the girl of his dreams at a big party, but realizes how shallow she is, and suddenly falls for long-time platonic gal pal Jennifer, who`s all made up just for the occasion. After Hours meets The Sure Thing.

Can`t Hardly Wait (1998)

Stars Jennifer Love Hewitt and Seth Green (past FFTTM appearance, and co-star of TV`s Buffy, the Vampire Slayer).

Jennifer is the object of an average guy`s affections, and when she is dumped by her "cool" jock boyfriend the day before graduation, our guy sees his chance for true romance at the Big Party. He writes the most romantic love note ever, but it gets lost in all the confusion of the big event. Lotsa party-related hijinx ensue, including yo boy wannabe Seth`s crazy antics, a revenge of the nerds scenario, etc. The hero finally makes his case to a willing Jennifer, and they end up 2gether 4ever. Other romances bloom as well.

Trivia: cameos by Donald Faisson of Clueless (TV and Film), Melissa Joan Hart, and Emma Gelfman. Also, Seth and Jennifer once co-starred in TV`s Birds of Paradise (see TV Page/Notable Obscurities), though they don`t interact here at all.

Dead Man on Campus (1998)

Stars Mark-Paul Gosselar (SBTB and St Tammany Miracle), Tom Everette Scott, Alyson Hannigan (TV Buffy and American Pie)

M-P and his best bud discover a rarely-invoked clause allowing passing grades and similar benefits when there is a death among close student partners. Hijinx ensue as our boys try to take advantage by inducing suicide in a few crazy fellow students. Tom finds a better solution for both of them by merely faking an attempt, buying both of them time to change their bad habits.

The Wedding Singer (1998)

Stars Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

A sweet romantic comedy set in the mid 1980`s, with a lead character much less annoying than normal for the artistically limited star. He`s a professional singer at weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, etc., who`s dumped by his own fiancee`, resulting in great personal and career setbacks. Young, upbeat Drew comes along, however, and our boy soon recovers. Multiple Eighties references abound: some are funny, though many seem forced.

In the end, Adam chases a confused Drew as she tries to elope to California with her rich but uncaring boyfriend. Rock legend Billy Idol, as himself, helps Adam win her over.

1999: and Beyond the Cynical

This year boasts perhaps the largest crop of FFTTM`s since the days of John Hughes, Cameron Crowe and "Savage" Steve Holland:

10 Things I Hate About You

Stars Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt (3rd Rock From the Sun), Heath Ledger, Louisa Oleynik and David Krumholtz.

Julia, a real b*tch and a b*ll-breaker, intimidates any boy who may think of approaching her. Too bad for little sister Princess Louisa, who is not allowed to date without big sister along to look out for her, and too bad for Joseph, who likes her a lot but is unable to romance her. He and a friend concoct a plan to hire dangerous newcomer Heath to date Julia, making Louisa available. The deal is eventually exposed, but the older couple make up before the Prom, enabling our young love birds to enjoy the magic evening together. Based loosely on Shakespeare`s Taming of the Shrew.

Trivia: YMP`s precocious co-worker, Samantha, went to school with Mr. Krumholtz (Slums of Beverly Hills), an up-and-coming young actor, and knows him fairly well. YMP`s friends Glen and Mike were quite impressed when they heard about this.

Cruel Intentions

Sarah and Ryan, step siblings, are bored and rich, and get their kicks by manipulating and humiliating others, often through sexual means. When Reese, an innocent mid-westerner, is to enroll in their elite prep school after her father is named as the new dean, and publically declares her intention to stay "pure" until marriage, our misanthropic anti-heroes are enraged. They bet whether or not Ryan can seduce the virgin girl, despite her knowing his reputation, with Buffy putting up her buff body vs. his vintage Porsche.

Levels of game playing and manipulation emerge, with unexpected results. Perverse, but much better and more clever than Heathers, unless you`re a pathetic Littleton type, and can only get off with explosions and shootings. Based on the novel and former film versions of Dangerous Liaisions.

Trivia: things must have gone well between the hunter and the hunted behind the scenes in this film, for the male pervert and his intended victim are now married in real life! Cameo by the female star of Zoe, Duncan, jack and Jane-which is now called simply Zoe.

Never Been Kissed

Stars Drew Barrymore, David "Call ATT" Arquette and Molly Shannon (SNL).

Drew, a shy, unassuming copy editor for a Chicago paper, gets a dream assignment as an undercover reporter in a local high school to dig up dirt for a racy cover story. She`ll also get a chance to live out a few fantasies of high school social life-mainly having one, as she was a total geek back then. Guess what-she still is! She`s going nowhere until younger brother David decides to join her and resolve a bit of unfinished business of his own. A natural joiner, he gets her into the hip crowd PDQ, and she begins to prosper, gaining a pretend cool boyfriend while drawing the innocent attention of an unsuspecting teacher.

When the rich, cool kids go too far in taunting nerds at the Prom, Drew breaks her cover to give a heartfelt speech on class distinctions, jeopardizing her brother`s plans and even her own job. However she writes a killer story based on her experiences, saving herself as well as her brother, and restoring the faith that the teacher had placed in her. They get together in the end.

It`s a tear-jerker, but YMP likes that sort of thing. A definite future Hall of Fame candidate for FFTTMs.

Election

Stars Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, with Chris Klein.

Reese is an ambitious, priggish, overacheiving busybody, a Hillary Clinton type who seeks the presidency of the...Student Government. Matthew, who seems vaguely familiar to YMP, is a teacher and faculty advisor, and is determined to stop this juggernaut at all costs. He enlists a dumb and pliant popular jock to run against her, and the hijinx ensue. Matthew ends up rigging the election results to take it away from Reese, but is discovered, and loses his job and community standing. Reese`s career is sent into the stratosphere. Will New York follow this pattern in 2000?

She`s All That

Stars Freddie Prinz, Jr. and Rachael Leigh "the Heroin Girl" Cook.

Freddie, after being dumped by his popular girlfriend, and in an attempt to prove his BMOC status bets his friends that he can make any girl the Prom Queen. Rachael, a sort of cute but nerdy artistic type, is chosen as the reclamation project. Problem is, she is intelligent and independent, and Freddie really falls for her. All the other cool kids try to sabotage the parvenu, providing some hijinx and lotsa tension. Of course, the bet is exposed at the Prom, but dashing young Freddie forsakes that glory to pursue Rachael and explain to her, and his true love shines through.

Nice and sweet, in the best tradition of FFTTMs.

Rushmore

Stars Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Jason, son of Rocky`s Talia Shire, is Max Fischer, an eager, slightly goofy student at the eponymous elite prep school, and active in many school projects of his own design. His gift for self-promotion far exceeds his academic status, but brings him to the attention of wealthy alumnus Bill. Any hopes for using this connection as a lauching pad, however, are dashed when both fall for the new kindergarten teacher and go to war over her. A failed project causes Jason`s expulsion, and he must continue his guerrilla campaign from a new base in public school. Let the hijinx begin.

Just when the war of attrition wears both of them down, Jason approaches Bill for a truce, and under the young man`s guidance they begin to rejuvenate and reinvigorate themselves and recover from their psychic wounds.

They each get the woman they deserve-Bill gets the new teacher, and Jason is quite happy with the cute girl who has lately been helping him with his many new projects. Everyone is happy. (one of the very few times YMP has ever seen a movie in a theater and heard applause at the end. Bravo! This one will be in the Pantheon of FFTTMs someday.)

American Pie

Stars Jason Biggs, Jennifer Coolidge, Natasha Lyonne, Tara Reid and Alyson Hannigan (Willow from TV`s Buffy).

Four high school seniors vow to "lose it" before the Prom and the end of the school year. Various and sundry hijinx and capers ensue as our boys scheme and plot to bed any available female, involving much raunch and potty humour. Just when failure seems assured for all, success comes for each one of them from several unlikely sources!

Comment: this one has produced more concern over ID checks at theaters than Columbine itself, and understandably so-it`s pretty sleazy, but funny.

Outside Providence

Produced by the Farrelly Brothers ("Something About Mary"), stars Shawn Hatasy.

Shawn, an unruly student, is sent to private school for extra discipline, with unexpected results. Should be very crude and sleazy, given the producers.

Detroit Rock City

Stars Edward Furlong, Natasha Lyonne and Sam Huntington, Produced by Gene Simmons and featuring a vintage concert performance by the original KISS.

It`s 1978 and our mid-western heroes don`t have tickets to the sold-out KISS show in the eponymous location, but vow to sneak in somehow. They drive there, rescue Natasha from a couple of jerky Disco pretty boys, convert her to the Rock and Roll philosophy, then proceed to party while pursuing their dream of obtaining two pair of tickets to Paradise. They make it so! Party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

Comment: it used to be that nostalgia teen movies took place in the 1950`s or early 60`s, but now it`s the late 70`s. YMP is getting old...

Drive Me Crazy

Stars Melissa Joan Hart (TV`s Sabrina and former star of Nick`s Clarissa Explains All).

Given her image, this one will be clean and mainstream. Sabrina is a popular kid in this high school comedy of manners concerning jocks, geeks, cool kids, etc., who is rejected by her boyfriend, and must make over a geek to use him as a revenge date-how much will you bet that they really fall in love?

Get ready, we may be about to experience the Second Coming of Ferris!