Doctor Bob's Nightmare
Our second co-founder's story is considerably shorter than Bill's, and shows that he had some experiences in common with his future partner. Dr. Bob also grew up in Vermont, with alcohol looked upon disfavorably, and also became suspicious of organized religion as a young man.

Dr. Bob explicitly mentions the unwholesome trait of self-will as a defect of his which led to drinking: "Unfortunately for me, I was the only child, which perhaps engendered the selfishness which played such an important part in bringing on my alcoholism." And this later reflection: "My whole life seemed to be centered around doing what I wanted to do, without regard for the rights, wishes, or privileges of anyone else; a state of mind which became more and more predominant as the years passed." (Both passages, Page 172) Bill, in his story, emphasized as a major character trait his early and overwhelming drive to succeed, which we have reasonably interpreted as a form of self-will.

Dr. Bob experienced drinking trouble in school (Page 172 and 174), as did Bill (Page 2). Bob managed to stay dry, or at least avoid trouble during his two-year internship in Akron, just as Bill stayed dry, or at least doesn't mention alcohol, during his yearlong motorcycle trip for market research. Later on, both men had varying periods of sobriety, sometimes after a particularly serious drinking bout.

Some considerable differences in detail of the two men's stories are also evident. Bob managed to maintain a career of sorts until he got sober, where Bill lost his career entirely and only worked sporadically after a certain point. However, Bob appears to have had much more experience in sanitariums (Page 174-5 and 177) than Bill, beginning well before his low point at the time of their first meeting. Bob began experiencing physical distress from drinking long before his alcoholic nadir (Page 174), where Bill does not mention serious drinking-induced symptoms ailments until after he lost his career.

Like Bill, Bob tried some of the failed methods employed by drinkers to stop or control the habit. For example, Bob thought that Prohibition would shield him from temptation to drink (Page 175), a strategy deemed by the authors to be ineffective (Page 101). Thisidea is not apparent in Bill's Story (nor is Prohibition is explicitly mentioned in the 164 pages of the Big Book, though it was then a recent event). Bob also tried the so-called "beer experiment" (Page 177-178) and avoided the "hard stuff", but got drunk every night nonetheless. This is listed on Page 31 as a failed method, as is not drinking during the day. Bob followed the latter policy as well, though for pragmatic reasons in order to maintain his career so he could afford liquor. Bill does not mention these particular strategies in his story.

The last years of Dr. Bob's drinking, aside from numerous visits to hospitals and sanitariums, left two notable memories. "During all this time we became more or less ostracized by our friends. We could not be invited out because I would surely get tight and my wife dared not invite people in for the same reason." (Page 177) This isolation is common among practicing alcoholics, and is mentioned in the Wives chapter (Page 114-115) and Working With Others (Page 102). "This routine went on with few interruptions for seventeen years. It was really a horrible nightmare, this earning money, getting liquor, smuggling it home, getting drunk, morning jitters, taking large doses of sedatives to make it possible for me to earn more money, and so on ad nauseam." (Page 177) From the length and regularity of his drug use, it is fair to conclude that Dr. Bob was dual-addicted. The title of his story comes from this passage, so it is especially significant.

Next, Dr. Bob describes his involvement with the Oxford Group in Akron (though he does not name them). This association led to his interest in spiritual matters and his later meeting with Bill:

	About the time of the beer experiment I was thrown
	in with a crowd of people who attracted me because
	of their seeming poise, health, and happiness. They
	spoke with great freedom from embarrassment, which
	I could never do, and they seemed very much at ease
	on all occasions and appeared very healthy. More
	than these attributes, they seemed to be happy. I was
	self conscious and ill at ease most of the time, my
	health was at the breaking point, and I was thoroughly
	miserable. I sensed they had something I did not
	have, from which I might readily profit. I learned that
	it was something of a spiritual nature, which did not
	appeal to me very much, but I thought it could do no
	harm. I gave the matter much time and study for the
	next two and a half years, but I still got tight every
	night nevertheless. I read everything I could find, and
	talked to everyone who I thought knew anything
	about it. 

My wife became deeply interested and it was her interest that sustained mine, though I at no time sensed that it might be an answer to my liquor prob- lem. (Page 178)

We see a bit of the desperation that Bill felt, but Bob's spiritual interests were unrelated at first to his drinking, and appear to have been a team effort with his wife from the beginning. These healthy, happy people provided an attraction for Bob, rather than the active promotion of spirituality Ebby made to Bill in New York. One is reminded of this passage from There Is A Solution: "But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it." (Page 25)

Dr. Bob's meeting with Bill is then briefly described. (A more detailed version of this story can be found in Pass It On, Page 139-143) Both of our founders drank again after initially hearing the message of recovery. Unlike Bill, Bob was not hospitalized after his last debauch. Bill and his wife nursed him through the after effects, and to help him taper off, gave him his last beer and pill. (See Pass It On, Page 149) "That was June 10, 1935, and that was my last drink." (Page 180) This date is now counted as the founding of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

	The question which might naturally come into your
	mind would be: “What did the man do or say that was
	different from what others had done or said?” It must
	be remembered that I had read a great deal and talked
	to everyone who knew, or thought they knew anything
	about  the  subject  of  alcoholism. But this was a man
	who had experienced many years of frightful drink  -
	ing, who had had most all the drunkard’s experiences
	known to man, but who had been cured by the very
	means I had been trying to employ, that is to say the
	spiritual approach. He gave me information about
	the subject of alcoholism which was undoubtedly
	helpful. Of far more importance was the fact that he
	was the first living human with whom I had ever
	talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to
  	alcoholism  from  actual  experience. In other words,
	he talked my language. He knew all the answers, and
	certainly not because he had picked them up in his
	reading. (Page 180)  
In describing Ebby's visit to spread the message of recovery, Bill spends more time talking about the spiritual mesage than anything else. Having already learned the medical facts of his hopeless condition from Dr Silkworth, and already knowing full well about Ebby's alcoholic past, the benefit of spirituality was the essential element Bill was missing. We see from this passage that Bob's earlier interest in spiritual matters continued, and that by this time he had begun to think of it as part of the solution to his drinking. While conceding the importance of the medical information on alcoholism he got from Bill, for Bob the crucial aspect of their talk was Bill's personal testimony about his own drinking experience. Bob was influenced by Bill's personal example in getting over drinking through spirituality, much as he previously had been by Akron Oxford Group members whose happiness encouraged him to embrace spirituality in the first place.

Bob then briefly lists the blessings he has received in addition to sobriety: health, self-respect, an ideal home life, and a restored career. While Bill writes primarily about the joy of belonging to the new fellowship at the end of his story, Dr. Bob concentrates on the one-on-one aspect of spreading the message to other alcoholics.

	I spend a great deal of time passing on what I
	learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it
	for four reasons:

	1.  Sense of duty.
	2.  It is a pleasure.
	3.  Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the
	     man who took time to pass it on to me.
	4.  Because every time I do it I take out a little more
	     insurance for myself against a possible slip. 
We saw in the introduction to this story that Dr. Bob was a very prolific carrier of the message in his lifetime. He spent more of his time doing this type of service for the fellowship than Bill, and appears to have been more effective as well. (See Pass It On, Page 157) He does not mention having the type of sudden awakening discussed elsewhere in the book. Unlike most of his fellows, Dr. Bob didn't get over his alcohol craving for more than two years. "But at no time have I been anywhere near yielding." (Page 181) Bill, who did have a sudden and overwhelming spiritual experience, and who does not mention continued desires for alcohol, nonetheless "was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink..." (Page 15) This variety in post-drinking experiences may be as useful and inspiring to newcomers as stories of past drinking and coming to believe.

In keeping with his personal emphasis on spreading the message, Dr. Bob concludes his story with an outright appeal to those who might need and want a spiritual solution to their drinking problem. Bob does not preach to those who are not open minded enough to accept a spiritual solution (agnostics, atheists, skeptics and others), or those who still think they can stop on their own.

 	But if you really and truly want to 
	quit drinking liquor for good and all, and sincerely feel 
 	that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer
	for you. It never fails, if you go about it with one half
	the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when
	you were getting another drink. 

Your Heavenly Father will never let you down! (Page 181)

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